Nothing.

If you’ve ever been to Starbucks then you will know that it can be a great place to sit and relax, sip some coffee, chat with a friend, work, or just people watch. There are those few times when it can be loud and annoying but that if rare (or at least for me). Tonight I went to the BG Starbucks and pulled out my computer, sat and observed the people around me for a moment then began to think and ponder. You see, tonight I was planning on going to the youth service at the church where I work but then at the last minute I decided against it. I was going to go to observe and just kinda take the whole thing in, maybe help me decide if I wanted to get back into leading youth again. I think in my last blog I said I had been asked a couple of times to consider it and since then i’ve been thinking about it, a lot lately. I have done the youth thing for about 4 or 5 years but havent been involved for awhile now. There was a time where I was so passionate about leading youth, I would look forward to our weekly youth group and even the occasional overnighters. I loved that the kids got so excited to see me every week, that they loved to hang out with me and the other leaders, and that they thought it was cool when you gave them that occasional random phone call or invited them to go to lunch or went to see them at their sporting event. I love that even now that when I see those junior highers that I lead like 6, 7, 8 years ago, they still act excited to see me. That part of me wants with all that is in me to go back into youth ministry and be a part of new kids lives.  Then there is the part of me that isn’t sure what I want to do, not sure if youth is where I should be right now….there is that part that feels like i’ve moved on from youth and not sure I can handle the commitment, overnighters and high energy of 12 and 13 year old kids….is that selfish? Hmmm I just feel like before God gave me the passion to serve in that ministry and right now i’m not sure that is my passion, not sure it isn’t either…so i guess with all this rambling, I really know nothing. I have no answers and I probably just wasted like 3 minutes of your life that you just spent reading this. Sorry…but it’s how I think and process, my next blog might have more insight and answers but for now, all i have is, NOTHING.